The worst of London 3 - West End theatre

Since the time of Shakespeare's Globe Theatre, London has been one of the world's great cities for drama. Step into some London theatres though and you might wonder if they date back to Shakespeare's days.

Most London theatres are in fact Victorian, when the majority of the population must have been malnourished dwarves. So expect cramped seating, inadequate toilet facilities, miniscule bars, plus railings that will conspire to block your view from the balcony no matter how you contort yourself. The most modern West End theatre was built in 1937!

On top of this is that fact that most productions these days are stale retreads of Hollywood movies or desperate cash-ins. Shawshank Redemption anyone? If not, how about Grease, Priscilla Queen of the Desert, Sister Act, Dirty Dancing...

And with this being London, you will be expected to pay far too much for the 'privilege' of a night at the theatre. Expect to cough up about £40-£60 per seat at an evening performance.

Half the drama these days is involved in trying to buy a ticket!

The best new productions sell out instantly, especially when an A-list star is announced to play a limited run of shows. However, it's not people on the streets buying these tickets, but rather the touts.

It can be extremely frustrating, but often the only way to get into some shows is to pay a rip-off ransom to an agent who has block-booked seats. Some of the half-truths these agencies peddle is also off-putting.

For instance, I was looking at a website listing different shows and found one I fancied. On checking ticket prices and availability, I was guided to this site to buy tickets. I knew from the theatre itself what the ticket price tiers were, so when I was offered £30 seats as being the best available for that night I assumed everything cheaper was sold out. I was given a reference number and told to call in at the theatre.

The theatre box office happily handed over my tickets, but on checking the seating chart it was clear that I'd been sold tickets in the £25 tier. What was cheeky of the theatre is that my £25 tickets had a £30 price printed on them. I cannot recommend that you buy on-line from the website above, nor would I ever use any of the agencies you'll see dotted around London.

My tips would be:-

• stick to a reputable site like Time Out and What's On Stage when looking to buy tickets;
• buy tickets as soon as they go on sale, before the reviews, although you may be stuck watching a duff production;
• buy tickets for a matinee performance, although the stars will be replaced by their understudies and the cast may be a bit sluggish (particularly during a Saturday afternoon 'hangover' show).

Finally, the half-price ticket booth in Leicester Square has some decent bargains, but mainly for second-rate shows well into their run. Their website lists shows for the night starting each day at 11am, though you must go in person to buy your tickets from the booth. A limited number of shows are available to book about a week in advance, but again purchases can only be made in person.

So take my tip if you're London and want to the give ticket touts the slip!