Cattle class becoming a reality?

Every so often*, just to grab some headlines, Ryanair boss Michael O'Leary makes a crazy announcement which guarantees himself plenty of free advertising.

Anyone remember his plans to install seats with video poker machines? The idea was that passengers could fly free, as long as they played the one-armed bandits.

Or how about his suggestion that airports do away with baggage handlers? Passengers would have been expected to stow their own luggage, carting everything through security straight to the aircraft.

At one point he threatened to lay off his check-in staff at airports. Passengers already check themselves in online as it is (and woe betide you if you spell your name wrong when booking your ticket, because you will be charged £100 for correcting your mistake).

Now one of his absurd-sounding schemes may see the light of the day. The airline is looking into 'standing room only' tickets. The last 10 rows of seats of the fleet's aircraft would be replaced with 15 rows of what he coyly calls 'vertical seats.'

Gurneys, to you and me. Or like something off the carnival fairway. Complete with straps to comply with air safety regulations. So, how about it? Would you pay the equivalent of pocket change in return for being trussed up and transported like Hannibal Lecter?

All these announcements promote Ryanair's image as an airline with a ceaseless desire to cut costs simply in order to provide lower fares.

The problem is most of Mr O'Leary's plans result in him plumping up his company's profits, without ever really offering passengers cheaper tickets. It's like Wal-Mart's claim to be always cutting prices, yet nothing yet is free.

Despite all his trumpeting about 1p flights, most passengers end up paying for every other aspect of their trip such as taking luggage, requesting a seat assignment or using a credit card to book their flight.

And right in time for the summer holiday season, the airline has hiked up luggage fees by a third.

Take the tip and don't expect a free trip! Instead, browse this guide to fighting the fees on 'budget' flights.

*Practically every day! Delve into Michael O'Leary's pie-in-the-sky promises in the news section of Ryanair's own website.